Competition for Real Maniacs – “Assemble the weapon yourself” (Voting is open)

How to kill a blonde:
We rearrange all the buttons on the keyboard and give it to the blonde to use. After half an hour of pleas for help “Get rid of the book-changing virus,” we give her a dowel and a bowling ball with the words “First, you need to repaint this (we show the dowel) with the help of this (point to the bowling ball) in the color of infinity.". To the question “What color is infinity?”?? O_O "we give a firm answer "Like the color of falling from a cliff" thereby hinting that the girl needs to jump off from there first. If it doesn’t work, you simply snatch the dowel from the girl’s hands and break the monitor with the words “Everything needs to be done for you,” and immediately after that we break her head with a bowling ball.

How to kill a mere mortal:
We take a bowling ball and cover the holes for the fingers with something so that it would be impossible to pull it out. We screw a dowel and a keyboard with the sentence “Earthlings, you will be enslaved” on it to the ball. We give the ball to the victim with the words “Hold for a second” and leave for about half an hour, having previously launched a paranoid person who agreed to help on the poor fellow. Victim killed, paranoid in prison 🙂

We sit the victim on a chair under some pretext, for example the phrase “check out the feint!"and the actual feint with a dowel (you hammer it into the wall with your head and remain alive (the secret is that you place the dowel against the wall with your left hand, at the same time with your right hand you take a bowling ball and while you make a movement with your head, carefully, so that the victim does not notice, you hit the dowel with the ball. The result is a dowel in the wall.)) you can get a reaction of sitting on the chair and saying “holy shit”. ». We take the keyboard cord and make a pendulum from the connector that connects the keyboard to the computer. Using a pendulum, swinging it left and right in front of the victim, we hypnotize her. Next we say the following: “Now you will take the keyboard and this bowling ball (with the victim’s number on it), lick them all so that there are no fingerprints of mine left, throw away the keyboard and, holding the ball tightly in your right hand, go and jump from a height in front of everyone, forgetting everything you knew about me.». Next, we observe the victim until he falls in a crowded place. This way you will have both an alibi and no evidence against you. For such murders you will be called "Billiards Player".

please in advance
what is written below should not be taken seriously) this is just a figment of imagination and a creative impulse
I took inspiration from Hevirain..
and I’m just a completely ordinary and healthy psychopath like everyone else))))

We choose the first person we come across

let it be a cute 16 snotty kid.

it’s winter outside… it’s dark, we need a deserted place, for example an alley where there are problems with lighting.
we are going to meet him, we have the clave in our hands… when we approach the build-up of a normal blow, the guy rakes in the cabbage soup with the clave, the guy begins to spew out inarticulate obscenities and threatens us to pull our ass onto the vigorous hypotenuse, but we don’t let him finish this obscenity and give him one more time, but this time in the jaw, if this is not enough for him to lose his balance, we hit him again Claudia, but this time with an edge to the throat in general in the area of the carotid artery (this blow should bring him to the desired condition) we did all this quickly so that the victim does not make a noise, if she is still conscious, then we begin to strangle her with a cable from the keyboard, but we do not kill the target, our task is to torture and make the target lose consciousness from humiliation and oxygen starvation.

then this unfortunate man finds himself naked, his arms and legs are tightly tied with several cables from keyboards that are lying around, and his hands are tied to his hips, and there is a tight gag in his mouth (don’t worry about chewing on the wires yum yum)
and then he notices us in his hand and a bag with dowels and an impressive-sized bowling ball
our face does not foresee anything good for the guy and begins to whine and snot, we laugh hysterically and inform him that he should die soon and that no matter how hard he mumbles, no one will hear him, our speech is confused and intermittent, leading to a mentally unhealthy laugh,
Our 16 year old victim, realizing what awaits her, begins to hysterically convulse and moan, making a puddle under her.

Well, the actual backstory is over and we come to torture ]:->

we throw a bag at https://luckicasino.org the guy telling him to shut up, see he’s a man and should behave appropriately
the packet of ripple upon impact and the finished product crumbles in half, we grab him by the throat with a strong and imperious movement and hit him on the head with a ball so that he twitches less
this helps
then we take the dowel
(I chose a good dowel as thick as a pencil)
And
and drive it with a ball into the red-hot cup and elbow joint on both legs and arms

then we hit his left ankle with this ball as hard as we can in the hope of softening it up
the guy squeals
and gets hit in the solar plexus
all our actions are accompanied by excited squeals that develop into confused laughter

then our poor guy takes another dose of iron into his body!)
We drive another dowel into the surviving heel to another bout of laughter
checking to see if the guy passed out
in any case, we bring him to life with the help of the same memorable keyboard.
and now the guy looks at us in his eyes there is nothing human left, he no longer has the strength to scream and moan, all the tears have been cried, all the snot has flowed out, he looks extremely sad, and then we decide to cheer him up one last time before death and take out of our pocket a bag of “Maria” cookies (those who were present at Igromir and would be honored to try them will understand) and take out the pretty chewed and slobbery cable gag and trying to feed the boy

as punishment for the fact that he didn’t want to eat our cookies Oo he gets another smack on the head and hears angry curses addressed to him

In a rage, we grab the dowel and rip open his right nipple
we hear a scream
Having died down our ardor and calmed down (again becoming a cold-blooded sadistic machine), we decide to control and complete the torture of this dowel with a sharp and strong forward movement of the seer into the urethra, thereby tearing the unfortunate reproductive organ to shreds

the guy loses consciousness from painful shock..
and to prove that he is definitely a non-resident, we knock out the dowel with the help of a clave in the Adam’s apple, take out the cookies and, devouring them by both cheeks, as if nothing had happened, we leave the crime scene, having previously taken care that there is no evidence left pointing to us. ]:->

Call the victim via the Internet using the keyboard. The victim has come. Stun with a bowling ball. Hanging to the wall with dowels. Next we “roll the balls”, that is, we throw a ball at the victim, while checking the pulse after each throw. When the victim is on his last legs, put his appearance in order, call the kids, give each one a keyboard and say that candy will fall out of this supposed “mannequin” if they hit it in a non-childish manner. The kids beat them, their guts are in different directions, the victim dies, the maniac leaves, lighting a cigarette. He’s happy, it’s done.

Take the keyboard and smash it with a bowling ball. We put the fragments into the victim’s mouth, after destroying his eyes with a dowel. After putting fragments of clave into the victim’s mouth, we beat him with our fists. When the victim screams "Enough"!“knock her brains out with a well-aimed ball throw. Now we hide the corpse. We take the corpse to the river (in my case it is the Yenisei), tie the victim with the help of her clothes to a bowling ball, put a dowel in her mouth and throw the corpse into the Yenisei.

So… I meet and become friends with the victim. I get the "privilege" of going to the victim’s home. I show up with about 6-8 keyboards, 16 studs, and one bowling ball. I go to visit the victim when there is no one at home. Stunned with a bowling ball. I take the claves and place them on the body, arms, legs of the victim. In short, I “wrap” the victim with clave, but only from the front side (that is, the victim lies on his back). I start nailing the keyboards to the body using dowels, hammering them in with a bowling ball. I leave 1 keyboard and a couple of dowels. The victim suffers agonizing damage. Next, I hold the bowling ball over the victim’s head and knock it over. Then I pick it up again, hold it over the victim’s head, and knock it over. This is how I finish off the victim. Then I nail the last clave onto the head so that the victim is not visible AT ALL. Then I drag the corpse with the keys into some kind of wardrobe or pantry, in the victim’s house. Thus, they look for the victim for more than 1 day (I think so: D), because if they look in the pantry, they will see keyboards. It seems like everyone else) Oh yes. I leave the victim’s house as if nothing had happened, order tickets to fly out of Moscow, and that’s it)

This man really pissed me off. Unhappy sectarian. I never opened the door for him, but this time I had a most insidious plan… and I let him in. And how happy he was! And how can you tell me about the capture of the planet by certain cats?! But I’m happy, I have a keyboard and a bowling ball behind me. I walked away, and he, not noticing the catch, continued to chirp about the almighty “mustached and striped”… and then in a split second, in the best traditions of baseball, using the keyboard I launch the ball into his face! And then both I and the sectarian simultaneously realized that there was going to be a strike… BAM! There is nothing left of the keyboard. Except buttons. I’ll collect them just in case… hmm. The sectarian is still twitching. What else do I have? Dowel-nail? Pierce him right through? No, that would be too uninteresting. And then I hear a siren, presumably a police one. CRAP! The neighbors are not asleep! Frantically looked out the window… phew, just firefighters. And they pull a ladder to my window! CRAP! And the sectarian crawls towards the exit. At least he has a way out, but I… oh, I wasn’t! I accurately throw a double nail into the gas tank of a car standing under the windows, it explodes, carrying away the ladder in the blast wave, and with it the fire truck… wow! Meanwhile, the sectarian wasted no time, crawled to the exit, crawled… and I still had the keyboard buttons. Exactly! I go up to the unfortunate catphobe and let’s hit him with buttons! Doesn’t help. And then the door is broken down by a riot police squad. I was frightened (I was not!) threw a button at a bully with a pistol, who was also the captain of the squad. The button didn’t hit him… but it did hit the trigger of his gun. Hurt me a lot. Yes, it hurt me so much that the gun went off. The cultist. Fourteen round eyes stared at the corpse. Including mine. Of course, they gave me a life sentence for this, but… I managed to pick up my dowel-nail on the street… MWAHAHAHAHA.

The victim walks into a cafe, orders a drink, I throw a carnation behind his back, he gets distracted, and throw a small carnation in his cognac. He drinks, a nail gets stuck in his throat, I start to help, I lead him forward a little, he trips over a ball (Guess where it came from) falls, breaks his forehead, the impact of the nail pierces his throat.I quickly put on gloves, take a little blood from the body and quietly pull out the nail. Everyone runs to look at the corpse, at this time I go, smear the counter with blood, place a nail, and run a glass of cognac over the nail. When the police arrive, I say that the waiter gave him cognac, and while he was drinking, he cut his throat, they will take prints and decide that it was not me. And then, I will hand over to the “killer”’s cell a keyboard with the inscription in keys: “Guess which maniac you know did this?"And then I will laugh for a long time 🙂

This method of murder is shown in the building, but it is universal, because.To. can be used almost anywhere. And so, first we prepare the “crime scene”. I note that all this is happening in a shopping center, presumably 2-3 floors. To begin, find a small area, next to the “edge of the floor”, usually there is a small fence there, on this fence we fix one dowel, point up. Next, we lay out a path of keyboards so that it leads to the fence, after which we find the victim. Let’s knock her out, not for long. And while she (the victim) is passed out, we put several dowels in her socks (about 3-4 in each) and place the victim on two bowling balls. After which, we wake up the victim.
Victim’s thoughts:
– Ahhh, what the f… Damn, why am I standing on bowling balls, who is this guy?? Ahhh..
***
And now in details. The victim, waking up, will roll backwards (if she rolls forward, we take out a knife and prove to her that this is not worth doing), runs into a path of keyboards, and flies down, at the same time catching on the previously prepared dowel, tearing his pants. And falls right into the parade of “animal sex lovers” going below. The parade participants will do the rest themselves. All you can do is admire the result, how they pounce on a barely alive victim, hmm… well, they’re exhausted, and finish him off (O_o).

Two story building. Computer club on the ground floor, bowling alley on the second. Desk with computer. The system unit is under the table. We screw a dowel into the table top from below, bite off the cap and sharpen it so that it is sharp and lubricate it with poison. Disconnecting the keyboard from the computer. The victim enters the club, sits down at the computer. Keyboard doesn’t work. The victim crawls under the table to check the contact. At this time in the bowling alley someone drops a bowling ball loudly. The loud sound frightens the victim, jumps up and hits the back of his neck on a sharpened dowel containing poison. Dies in agony.

From the keyboard buttons we lay out signs “Go there, there are cookies waiting for you”.The floor in the room where the victim was lured (it should be below the entrance) is completely covered with bowling balls – this way our victim will “get ready”.WHEN the “meat” has been beaten off enough, you can help to help the victim “save” (pr. author "MWAHAHAHAHA").After this, we stun the victim with a strong blow to the head with the remains of the keyboard.After this, the victim can be turned into a hedgehog with dowels ^^

Embed nails into the victim’s keyboard, tape lightweight bowling balls to the back of his hand, and force the victim to write a 200-word text. After each sentence, hit him in the head with another bowling ball.
One way or another, the victim will kick off his skates.

Having found a suitable victim, we knock him out by any means possible. We drag the body (still alive, but unconscious) into the basement where the heating system is located. We sit the victim in front of a pipe on which there is a tap used to turn off the heating. It is desirable that the pipes behind the victim are parallel to each other, the distance between them should not be more than 5 cm. We sit the victim so that he leans on the pipes. We insert the keyboard between the pipes behind the victim, turn it so that it rests against the pipes. We drive a dowel into the victim’s hand (drive it in with a bowling ball), this will do nothing, but the victim’s torment will increase. We break the victim’s legs with a bowling ball (so that he does not move from his place). We insert the wire from the keyboard (its end) into the hole on the bowling ball (stick it out through the other) and tie it in a knot. It turns out something like you were. We throw a bowling ball hanging on a wire from the keyboard through a pipe that runs under the ceiling. The ball should hang above the heating shut-off tap. The wire is not strong enough to support a bowling ball, so after 5-10 minutes it will break and the ball will fly down, knocking down the heating valve. From the resulting hole a huge stream of hot water and steam will rush onto the victim. The victim will die from this temperature. Hot water will leave huge burns on the body and face of the victim, so that the victim cannot be identified.

I’m writing point by point (it’s clearer this way)
1) Take a bowling ball (then use it) and go play bowling. There we meet the victim (I don’t know why I wrote this, because the victim does not play bowling).
2) We deliberately lose to her in a bowling game.
3) You, like a loser, pay for everything, but there is no money. We invite her to our home (to pay off debts (Irony*)).
4) We hook our future victim (soon the moment of truth) on super meat boy. After 5 hours of playing, she should start banging her head on the keyboard, swearing at everyone.
5) At this moment we place the snipe on the keyboard. The victim, not noticing anything, pierces his eye, which leaks out of the socket (How ironic**). But it won’t kill the victim. Therefore, we take a bowling ball (I wanted to write one for billiards (that would be hilarious)) and simply kill the victim with a blow to the head (another irony***).
6) There is no need to hide the corpse, or rather, you need to hide it from the victim’s mother. We will leave the game on so that investigators will think that this was another suicide due to the game. No one will think about us. And he will never know..
"Why?” you ask.
“Really, why?“- I think – “After all, everyone will proclaim you the maniac of the year… Although 10 years in prison will await you if you are discovered and you cannot become a nominee in the next 10 years.”.
It’s better to look at the next set of items, in case there is acid there, then we will show you how to make soup from the victim.
Notes:
* We will pay the victim once and for all.
** Without seeing the threat, she went blind in one eye
*** She didn’t play bowling, and for some reason she went at it and died from a bowling ball.

using a cord and several dowels, we make a bundle and, furiously waving this bundle in front of the victim, we try to lure him into our trap, which uses the following mechanism: the rest of the wire from the keyboard is stretched between two small pins, no matter what, there should be a bowling ball behind the cord at the level of the victim’s spine, and from the keys, the keyboard and the remaining dowels are made at neck level. As a result, when falling, the victim dies from a spinal fracture or dies due to foreign bodies in the neck

We are looking for a victim, we scare the hell out of him, he steps on a dowel, jumps in pain, trips over a bowling ball, falls, then a maniac flies up and hits the head with the keyboard “on*”.